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I feel like such an awful person. I can’t tell you all how sorry I am for not being on here. I’ve told you all I would start posting regularly again soon- countless times, but I never really do. I know I’ve said this before, but it’s just, this blog was never supposed to turn into something like this. I’m glad it did, and I’m glad I could help so many people, and they could help me, and I met so many amazing people, but I’m just not this kind of girl. I’m so unbelievably shy, and quiet, and I rarely speak my mind. Never in my life have I had an opportunity like this, to be so open with people. And I gotta tell you, it’s really scary. Because I’m just a normal girl really. That girl you see in school, the one that has no friends, never talks, and almost seems kind of nerdy, yeah that’s me. I’m not used to this. Which is a part of why I’ve been away for so long. I know I should have told you all this a long time ago, but I just need a break. From everything. And I can’t really do that, while running this blog. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be gone, but I promise you I’ll come back. I might be changing my URL shortly too, because my anxiety and paranoia are off the roof. I’m sorry to anyone I may have worried, because I was gone so long. I’m safe. And I’ll do my best to come back soon. I’ve missed you all so much. But you have to understand, I dedicated 6 months of my life to this blog prior to this break. I had no friends, and I never went outside. Tumblr was my only friend. And I don’t necessarily mean that as a bad thing, because I love you all so indrecibly much, but it’s just, I’m not used to this. It’s hard for me to give so much advise, and not even be able to take my own. I’m so so so sorry to everyone that sent me an ask, that I wont be able to reply to it. Honestly, I’m tearing up right now because I’m so sorry. You put your faith in my and I let you down. But, this is just something I have to do for awhile. I need to be selfish, and take risks, and do my best to enjoy life. Otherwise, I’m afraid I may not make it. I’m sorry to anyone this hurts. But I love you all so insanely much. I love you more than I love myself. And this blog has changed not only me, but the way I look at things. Now, I have the courage to stand up to people about certain subjects. I’m living more optimistically. There are so many things this blog has done for me, and I will NEVER forget them. The day I turn eighteen, I plan to get a tattoo as a reminder for all that you’ve done for me. Thank you all so much <3 (‘:
I’m sorry I can’t be there for you now, but I know there are so many others who will be. There are blogs like mine, located to the left of my page there’s a link you can check out. And also, if anyone read this and if you are here to listen and/or give advise to people, please, PLEASE, comment on this post saying so, or like the other link on my page. I want all of my followers to know that I still care about you unbelievably, and I will be thinking about you everyday. There are still plenty of people you can trust on here though, and I hope you can find comfort in them and their blogs <3
Love always,
Ashley.
Thank you <3
I think you're an amazing person and it's people like you that sometimes make this heavy weight feel that little bit lighter, thank you. <3
You're beautiful
<33333 Thank you (‘:
9 days until the birthday present I've wanted for so long.
9 days until my death.
Darling, don’t do it. Please try to hold on a bit longer. Please please please <3 What’s been going on to make you feel this way? I will listen to anything you have to say. Just don’t give up on everything. Especially not on your birthday, a day to celebrate life. Not mourn death.
If you don’t want to talk to me, I understand that. But try to find someone else you can talk to and trust, okay? A friend, sibling, therapist, teacher, someone along those lines. People do care about you, and you are worth it. I wish you could see that <3
it was really bad.
how long to wide cuts take to heal?
I’m not sure, it depends on how deep it is, and it varies from person to person as well. If anybody has any thoughts on this, please share <3
Stay safe lovely. <3
Non-important rant that I don’t really expect anyone to read.
Rant.
i cant do this anymore. You cant do this to me. you cant put all of this pressure and responsibility into my hands and expect me to just take care of you and make all your problems go away.
i just cant believe you said those things to me.
I cant believe you threatened me like that.
I cant believe you blamed me for everything.
I just cant believe this. I thought you changed. I thought you were better than this.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Just so tired. Just so angry. All The Time.
Do you ever feel bad when you feel like dying, so you talk to someone and you can sort of tell that you're bothering them, and that they deal with their own shit and don't need yours too?
I do know what you mean, but you don’t have to feel like that here <3
I know you sent this in awhile ago, but is there anything you want to talk about?
If therapy works for her, then make sure she keeps going to that. And remind her everyday that you support and love her <3 If therapy doesn’t work for her, make sure she knows she can always talk to you about anything. Maybe make a plan this summer to see each other once every week, like maybe every saturday for example. And you two will go on a walk and talk about that week, see a movie, get coffee. Some kind of schedule. I think that would be a good distraction for her, and a good release. If she WANTS to quit cutting, show her some alternatives. There are a handful on my page (:
<3
This all just really fucking sucks.
